About to separate....

[dorightman]

Last night after putting the kids to sleep. I left the house without telling W and went to hear friends play music at a bar. She was surprised and texted me wanting to know where i was and what time I was coming home. I texted her back and told her I didn't feel like being alone and went out w friends. This morning she said she was surprised I didn't tell her and that she didn't think we where at that point in our relationship yet. She said she didn't know if I thought thats how we should act yet, asking if it's ok for her to do that to me? I'm just tired of feeling lonely after the kids are put to bed, she told me to leave her alone at night, so this is a mixed message. I guess my question is how to balance this controlled separation living in the same house. I don't want to escalate things between us, but I do want her to know that the consequences of her requests mean that I will need to have my own life.