He is the same person when I met him that he was the day he left. That's a big difference in my sitch.
I think my ex is the same person as well. I was just naive and blind when we met and married. And he was more charming and willing to hide those parts of his personality. Even now sometimes I'll say something to him and he'll say c'mon...you know me....I was asleep/trying to hide in the garage/didn't pay it on time/whatever.
Just now he sent me a text message to rearrange his visit this evening. He hasn't seen S (his SS) since he dropped him at the airport 3 weeks ago, he was going to see my mom, and pick up some stuff S brought him from the States. his reason "I'm being forced into going to dinner with her parents" It's not that it's her, or that he's rearranging. It's the language he uses. Everything is someone else's fault and he can't make decisions or stand up for himself. I'm sure if I pressed for details it would be the case of "I'd forgotten we're going out for her dad's birthday (or other occasion). Is it okay since your mom will be all week" But he's always put upon, forced to do things, etc. It upset me during out M, he would complain because he'd agreed to do something for someone and I would say well why don't you ask them if....and then it would come out that he wanted to or had made his mind up to...just wanted to complain. (two different people he and I)
