I'm getting mixed signals here. This was posted by you 10 days ago. so far, I've been doing a good enough job at following it and I'm now more focused than ever on this plan.
It is a good plan Arsene. But you have to realize the stage that I was in when I posted that. W was considering R with me. She and I were spending all of our time together. She had supposedly told OM that she was going to work on our M. But she was still talking to him and still doing gigs with him. THAT was NOT okay. And I shouldn't have been okay with this at all.
But I had convinced myself that OM's involvement at THAT point was only that my W still had feelings for him and was unsure of us. I knew that he lurked, but she was not dating him. If you read my entire story, you know that that changed. And it was inevitable that it would, because AT THAT POINT, I did not see how that my W had not resolved her feelings for OM, nor did I understand that that had to happen before any R was possible. WHEN IT DID ultimately change...
I set the boundary that I have been talking about for the first time. And it is what I stuck by for the remainder of my sitch.
Like I said, it was very difficult to enforce that boundary. No one is saying it is easy, and I am in no way saying that I did it perfectly. Many here would tell you that I did not. But for the most part, I refused to be an active part of my W's life during any of the periods of time when she was seeing or contacting OM. My biggest mistake, and I made it a couple of times, was that I let her back into my life too easily, without making her actually get to a point where she was scared that she may have lost me.
Read 25mlc's post to you again. It is a good one, and ultimately, I think, the point that I am trying to make. Stop thinking that by spending all of this time with your W that that is going to get her to change her mind. As long as OM is an active part of her life, live YOUR life separately. And let her live her's. She has to resolve this deal with OM. She has to face that she may lose you in the process. She cannot, will not, see that as long as you are just sitting there, IN her life, waiting.
THAT ^^ really isn't outside of the plan that you copied and pasted from my thread.
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
