Dealing with Anger

[Arsene]

Thanks 25,

I was starting to wonder if I was indeed on the right track. All I can say is that for now, the path I'm on feels like the right one and it's something that I think I can do. I mostly have been able not to think about OM and I do not find it "emasculating" as someone mentioned on his thread.

I do feel like I'm in control of what I am doing and that I am showing respect for my W's decisions (which is something I need to do and which actually may be a huge 180).

I will stop monitoring daily as you suggested and will try not to have unrealistic expectations. I will refine my short term goals (baby steps) and keep my "timeline" as a simple guideline and a reminder of how little time I have spent on this so far.

I haven't had any negative thoughts about my W in days and whenever I'm about to mentally judge or criticize her actin I catch myself in time. I have been monitoring my anger and trying to deal with it, not suppressing it. At the moment, I feel intense love and compassion towards my W. I feel the way I want to/ought to have all those years she was with me, suffering silently, gathering the courage and determination to leave a marriage where she lived in constant fear of disappointing the man she had once loved so much she had decided to give her live for him.

I feel good about where I am now, and I feel that I am doing the right thing, no matter how difficult it is. IMO, forcing the issue at this time would not help my sitch. I believe that given the emotional attachment I thin my W has with OM, I need to let this "fizzle out" on its own. All I can do right now is make myself the better option.

Thanks again 25 for your support.

No problems Tori, if you like that go read Denver's entire thread. It's a long one (I'm still only a bit past the halfway point)but it's filled with inspiring posts like this one.