I think what Arsene said captured alot of why I would drag my feet....it will give me the time needed to heal and at the same time it will force her to wait a bit and see if her mind changes....if she does, then great. If she doesn't, then what has been lost by waiting another 15 months to divorce? In my mind nothing is lost in that time b/c ill be doing exactly what I would hope to be doing if we were actually divorced....being a great dad, improving me and helping others.
Our divorce was final in 4 months. And to be honest, it took the divorce and for him to move on, I guess, for me to really take a look at the person I had lost, the life I took for granted - everything - to finally wake up and want to make the changes I should have been doing while in that waiting period of the divorce. I didnt want the divorce. But I was still very selfish and didnt want to make the changes I needed to. You guys know that I am trying my best to do the right things so that maybe one day we can have another try.
M:43/ H:39 T:12/ M:9 S8, D15 M affair(one night): 2/09 M EA: 2/12-7/12 D:6/7/12 H: GF since 7/24/12
God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
Suppo: How does the world find you this Thursday? Im actually having a great run for the last 48 hours and im gonna keep the good feelings going all the way through the weekend. I've got a charity golf outing tomorrow morning, doing some campaigning with my son and some good friends at a high school football game tomorrow night and then on Saturday my S11 has a youth football game after which I think we're headed to the stadium to watch our beloved college team win their second game Saturday night. All in all its going to be a pleasure packed weekend and im going to smile all the way through it.
I had taken about a week or a week and a half off and finally made myself get up and go running this morning and while I hated it when it started im so glad I did it now. I feel so much better about my day when I start it early with a run....I go out while its still dark and it really allows me some quiet time alone to get my head straight.
Hope today finds you well....go read Jeremiah 29:11 its a favorite of my son and I.
I think what Arsene said captured alot of why I would drag my feet....it will give me the time needed to heal and at the same time it will force her to wait a bit and see if her mind changes....if she does, then great. If she doesn't, then what has been lost by waiting another 15 months to divorce? In my mind nothing is lost in that time b/c ill be doing exactly what I would hope to be doing if we were actually divorced....being a great dad, improving me and helping others.
That's the spirit mate ^^^^^^^
Freshman Class of 2012
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
Alright! Haven't posted in ahwile & figured I would just say a quick Suppo needs to get his head out of his Arse and get back in the battle!
Had pretty decent appt. today with IC, who stated to me that I need to allow myself to feel & process the hurt, but not let it consume me. Amongst a lot of other chat of course. She also recommended possibly getting on some meds temporarily, becuase she stated what I have is situational depresssion. I haven't slept since the events unfolded Saturday & have lost 10 more pounds. I was always naturally lean & in shape for being 6'3", but If you saw you me know then you would realize that I honestly can't afford to lose more weight. Down to about 162, which is way below my norm.
IC told me that it is not always the LBS that pushes the WAW unto an A. She stated a lot of what we already knew etc. But it was good to here again that I am not completely at fault for others decisions.
Took kids & d-12's friend to Varsity football game tonight & had a really good time, so my PMA improved fairly well for now at least. God has been my solice and rock through this, but I firmly believe the kids have been a lot larger impact on keeping me focussed & happier.
I have a lot more to journal/review/probe for outside perspectives.
Wife coming at me with all kids of crazy Venom probes just like Chatter said in previous response early on. It's like, now that she has been exposed "TRULY EXPOSED", she has been very pushy about texts. Almost like she thinks I am know going to get vindictive with things (i.e. papers, finances, etc.). But that is just not me.
Starsky said awhile back & repeat it often on here, that we truly don't know what goes on in the Wayward little spouses head.
Will post more in a bit! Flabbergasting to think about!
I will jump back & Freshman 2012 will Persevere!
I want to remain respectful & loving, but I sure as heck am not going to go out of my way to succumb to her outbursts of texts all of a sudden with OM in the picture!
No Suppo, but as I'm learning myself, sometimes it's worth taking a step back to assess the sitch before saying or doing something. Now that OM is in the picture, and you've decided to fight for your family, what you need to do IMO, is process whatever anger you may have (and you probably have a lot of it) so as to not let it affect your judgment.
This is not an easy thing to do. I thought I was fine with it but now, over the last week or so, I'm realising that I am very angry deep inside and this comes out as my "good old" passive aggressive behaviour. I wish I had a good C but in this country it's difficult to find. I'm at number 2 now because number 1 told me that the field of psychology didn't not recognise MLC and continued his sentence by saying that in his opinion there was black magic involved.
My present C seems to be a bit better (at least she hasn't mentioned black magic yet) but so far, she doesn't seem to understand what I'm going through. She's not very helpful with advice and comments/suggestion on improving myself either as she only agrees with what I say. Nonetheless, at least I get to unload on her.
It seems I'm getting better advice from my meditation class teacher.
Anyway, I'm glad you seem to have a good C and that you are getting yourself back in the race.
Cheers mate!
Freshman Class of 2012
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
Will post more in a bit! Flabbergasting to think about!
I will jump back & Freshman 2012 will Persevere!
I want to remain respectful & loving, but I sure as heck am not going to go out of my way to succumb to her outbursts of texts all of a sudden with OM in the picture!
Would any of you?
No. It is the absolute worst thing that you can do. She will calm down. Give it some time.
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
wow I have reading this all for sometime now...And I am really pulling for you Suppo...believe it or not it sounds like you are in a good position. Don't worry about the om those R seldom work more than 80 percent fail. Easier said then done. I am in the same boat as well and it is hard to deal with the anger. Hang in there I am pulling for you. Try getting some protein shakes to help with weight if you can't eat.
