Tomorrow is a New Day

[hopefulinga]

I do think these are very positive steps and I have been thinkning about what it would look like to not only turn the M around, but to keep it that way and to keep my changes going.

I have an observation that I am trying not to over analyze, but which I am curious about. While H has been gone, he has not been around one of his friends who I believe contributes to the toxic nature of what is going on with us. When he is home, and I've metioned this before, this guy is around him all the time and dominates any conversation while I am around. I also believe that some of the crap that gets unloaded on me is a direct result of H not standing up to him and setting boundaries.

If H's behavior changes when he gets back and is around this person in big clumps of time, I don't even know how I would address it without making H mad.

When H goes away next weekend, he will be around one of the same guys from this weekend and another guy that has repaired his marriage recently and has also told H that he needs to work a little bit harder on ours. So, I've started to look at the fact that even though I am mad that H is going away, he will be around positive influences. When H goes away at the end of the month, it will be with the toxic friend.

The toxic friend is the one from the BBQ competition. I can completely see the difference in our interactions between this weekend and the BBQ competition 2 weeks ago.

I know that I cannot change H's behavior. I'm just noticing what is different about our interactions.