I suppose it's difficult for people you've just met to know the entire journey you've been on and it's difficult to sum that up in a quick introduction.
I did "he makes me feel good" relationship shortly after I walked. I had been in this limbo land with H for almost 2 years and it was soul destroying. So when I finally decided to walk I was in full on let's have a good time mode. The guy that I started seeing wanted to wait until my sitch was more settled. He's been through a S, MC, R, then S and in process of D. So he could see I wasn't ready. When I put him on the back burner, I realised I wasn't ready. Then everything kicked off with H meeting someone, seeming to change, and I realised I wasn't ready for....EVERYTHING. All my lets get out there and live life had only been shielding me from what was really happening.
So I focused on myself, it was baby steps at first, learning about NC, detachment, not reacting, getting out of my comfort zone, and during that 6 months I really learned about myself, accepted that my M was over, accepted what I'd done, took H off that pedestal and saw him (again) for the problems he'd caused, forgave myself, forgave him, understood that I don't have to agree with his choices to still be friendly with him, focused on myself, my son, my day to day life which isn't filled with partying.
I went on a few dates and did this in a whole new way. I'm less likely to skip over red flags or give someone the benefit of the doubt. There's a whole world out there so I'm not rushing finding anyone. I was really proud of how the new Brit handled meeting men and dating. And how I spent time with someone, getting to know them and was able to say no, you're not really for me. Whereas a previous version of myself would have handled that differently.
This is probably the last I will post here about dating period. These forums have really helped me grow as a person and I want to continue doing that. I feel that my growth as a person has helped me in several areas of my life: work, family, friends, etc. So this is in turn also changing how I interact with men not just my ex. So I'm going to continue to use this forum as a way to grow and learn, but I'm not going to talk about my dating life (or lack thereof) anymore.
Thanks everyone for your kind words! It's great to see people make the trek over from new comers for a wee little visit on my thread. Zig, I think you touched on quite a lot that could be hiding under our initial reactions. I remember feeling fear in reaction to someone else's post early on.
So my weekend: My mom is visiting. It's the first time she's left the US. I have been spending time with her We're going to have tea and cake in a lovely pub garden this afternoon. Yesterday I also popped out for dinner with a friend on the marina. That was really pretty.
