IH Separation-continuing to grow as we grow apart

[Denver_2010]

I'm just going to weigh in here a bit. I mostly agree with Bond and Chatter. As Chatter said, if the A is going on, you should be on a different path. Only if and when your W puts a stop to the A and says that she is willing to try, should you be on a path WITH her.

You can sum it up pretty easily, and this is what I told my W more than once..."I will not be an active part of your life as long as any OM is".

When he was, I lived my own life, SEPARATE, from my W. I sought my own happiness and tried to not worry or think about what my W was doing. She was no longer my concern during those periods of time. If she called me, I might answer. I would be polite but short. But there was no way in hell that I was going to hang out with her or provide her what a H provides a W while she was spending time with OM. There was no way in hell I was going to do that.

Where I differ from Chatter, and maybe Bond, is that I wasn't rushing to the courthouse to D my W. I wasn't worried about that either. I just lived my life the best I could.

YOU CAN wait this out while also enforcing a boundary that you will NOT be a part of an open M.

And yes, I think that is what you, Bill, are doing, and what you, Arsene, are doing.

And guys, I know how difficult this is. I just lived it.