There is something else that's been on my mind. I have hurt my W more than I can imagine. So much so, that she is probably happier now than she was with me. I realise that now. I have to change the person I was, in every way, not to get my W back but because I wasn't/am not a nice person. Sure I have made improvements but as W said, too little, too late. I might never be able to hold her in my arms again. I might never be able to kiss her lips again. but to have lost that woman who I was privileged to share 10 years of my life with for nothing would be to cheapen this moment of my life.

I may have lost her but I will not waste the lesson on years of feeling sorry for myself. I will look deep into who I am and hunt down my demons until I become the man that my W married.
It might be too little too late but if she doesn't come back to me once I have successfully become the man I know I can be, it will not be for a lack of my efforts and I will be able to look my D8 in the eyes and tell her that I did everything I could to save her family. I will also be able to move on with my head up.

I will be the better man.

Freshman Class of 2012

M-49
W-42
1D-10
T 10 YEARS
M 9 YEARS
EA/MLC 07/2010
Separation 28/05/2012
PA confirmed 31/07/12
W Asked for D 31/07/12
D on and off the table since then