The football team reference was simply what OT said - numbers. It never implied anything more.
Sometimes we come on with so much info that never really tells the story at all. But the statistics and timeline of events told me only one thing. That you are spinning.
Your friends who all jumped on here to defend you know your story and they obviously like you. I'm sure you are a very likeable person. But remember that they are at the same stage as you. Most of the signup dates beside their names indicate less than a year on the bb. And at that stage - you are all coming from a much different place than most of us over here on Surviving.
I have actually been here since Nov 2, 2001. My husband left me and my 3 kids, the week of 9-11. The same week my daughter became a teenager. Imagation the horror we all felt as both the world and our own little world shattered. 11 years ago this week.
So why am I still here you might ask. It is to advise, support, occasionally vent and sometimes to kick a butt. And sometimes it helps. And sometimes it is taken the wrong way and everyone runs and gets their friends and fights back. But, whatever.
If you knew me - you would know that I am kind but often blunt. I am Mom to a severely handicapped son. I have probably the worse ex on the bb. (some might argue that but he was CRUEL). I have recently moved out of my "comfort zone" and into a new town which I love. And I have been in a longterm, lovely relationship for more than 8 years.
So what does that mean? I have more DB experience than most people. I have seen a lot of people make mistakes that change their future. And a lot of people make good, positive changes that have also turned things around.
Your timeframe is a bit frightening, regardless of whether some people heal faster than others. The best advice I can give you is to take some time to heal yourself. Stay in counselling. Listen to people here who have gone before you. Take the advice that helps you, drop the rest. Try to become the best YOU you can be on your own. Dating really confuses things. You might not believe it now - but you are SO not ready. It will come in time. But once you have learned to love yourself, by yourself, set some goals for your future and achieved them - you will be in a much better position to be a good partner and attract the right person into your life.
I invite you to visit my Bucket List thread. Tell me about your goals for your future. It is kind of a thought provoking thing that I started when I was at your stage. I'm happy to say that 11 years down the road - I've crossed a number of those things off my list. And moving on to more.
I wish only happiness for you. Please take that from my posts - suggestions from my experience that can help you get there. And that goes for all your friends as well. This is a board where we can all help one another.
Again - my goal was NOT to pass judgement but to ask you to step back and look at what you wrote and how that appeared you were spinning out of control.
