Once again thank you 25years for offering me clarity.
I've thought myself "this is sending me nuts and I am focusing on all the small stuff". My wife yesterday when she broke down and confessed her affair was very emotional. She only confessed because she had been caught. I know this and it wasn't something she was doing for me. I feel she is ashamed of all this. Yes I read into that as something that can benifit me but like you said that's the stuff I need to change. The small things and focusing on the small scraps of contact and talking about the relationship does me no good at all.
I need to start embracing the suggestions on here. Of course my fear is if I make myself less available then she'll forget me and lose any interest in me. But it's plain see. What I've done in the past has not done any good. A little less contact and being myself a bit more has brought us closer so keep doing what gets results (cheese less tunnels).
I think her now confessing about the OM will take away from the new relation ship some excitement. I also still don't think he knows the truth. My best guess is this new relationship will fail (my hope also). But once again that's not me focusing on me.
I have a plan now like you said 25years. Stick too it.
I really don't think my wife and I are that far apart. She has pushed her feelings away and she still loves me. I might be wrong. She is definatly confused. She said as she broke down yesterday on the phone "this other guy and my new friends and my partying is a distraction because when I sit on my own I think about what's happened and if I tried hard enough". Once again signals but too small to focus on I guess.
My plan is be the best me. Really GAL and give her space and wait and be a gentleman when in touch with her, polite, calm and secure with me.
Kevin
Me-38W-28. M-2 1/2. Together-7 years OM-14/4/12 Told M in trouble-17/4/12 BD-5/6/12 S-5/6/12 ProofOM-17/06/12 Start to change me-31/08/12 EA+PA-14/04/12-now
