Thanks Acc- It’s ironic that I received your post. I just went down the block, there’s a giant open field by my house, I took a beer with me and my awesome lab, I was getting my dog his exercise and trying to let my brain calm a bit. I was thinking to myself, wow, I hadn’t heard from Acc for a while. You have always stuck with my sitch, thick and thin, from the beginning. I am really glad you’ve always been there for me buddy! Then bam, I get a post from you.
Here’s the thing, from my point of view, your first paragraph nailed it, spot on. Amazing job seeing my sitch through my W’s eyes. The part I struggle with is “don’t play the line to hard or “doing a favor now and again.”
Ok, so my W might not have a consistent OM however I still think she’s messed around (yeah, speculating). I HIGHLY value you’re opinion but you seem to take a “softer” approach. I remember bringing this subject up with you a month or so ago and you suggested that I let W know what I am doing verse remaining vague. I am not rude to W, I ask her how she is, I smile around her but I don’t ask her a lot of questions, I keep things pretty short with her, business like in a way. I feel it’s necessary in an attempt to save my sanity and avoid anything that might be considered pursuit. I was a hard core pursuer before our separation.
Please keep on me about the second job. You think it’s important for me don’t you? I had one meeting with a financial advisor by myself, I also took your lead and gave W the option to go to a financial advisor together, W didn’t respond to that suggestion. The only reason I can think that you suggest that I take a “slightly softer approach” is because you think there’s a “decent chance” that my W might want to come back? Does that really call for a “softer approach” from your POV?
I can go ahead and get another part time second job, I know I would be doing it for myself but do you think that would also send a strong message to my W? I REALLY want to get some good bonuses at my day job, they haven’t come to fruition yet. Getting closer though, just not fast enough!!! At the end of the day, your accurate in regards straightening out the financials. The bills aren’t overboard, it’s just both W and I are barely scrapping buy, and that’s not good enough for W. She needs to see me making more coin and I need to see it. It will also tremendously help out with my sense of worth, self esteem, confidence, etc…
Have you been updating your sitch on your thread? I noticed the poster that helped you out, earlteagrey (or something like that) showed up on the forum the other day. Take care and thanks for sticking with me from the beginning. I hope your doing well!!!
