I did not go to the bar. I did go to dinner later. I spoke to my Db coach. who told me the same thing. In this marriage I realize there is a pattern of some passive aggressive behavior with him and he is controlling and sometimes I wonder if he is jealous of me. Very competative. The Db coach said the same that I can't control him. But when these behaviors occur state my boundary and leave or go into another room. Or in this case not go to the bar.
My counselor said to ask my husband what working on the marriage means since he says he wants to do so. He says he doesn't know but talking every night is doing that. I told him I appreciate that but I'm doing all the work. He said to be patient I said patient for what? For you decide if we have a future? I just have a roommate. He says everything is making him depressed including me and the kids. Feels he has to get away. That's all he does is get away. I told him he can't run away from himself. He is so afraid of getting old without doing all these goals. I told him if he wants to work on this marriage then for Gods sake do somthing! If he cared for me why can't he be affectionate or go see my counselor? I went to bed early and he then he came in and was affectionate and wanted to Ml which is one thing I asked for. This morning he was affectionate and kissed me goodbye then he was gone most of the day having breakfast with a buddy and then to the boat for hours. Came home took a shower and took off without saying a word except that my daughter heard him say he had to get gas. And we were supposed to go out.Which what I wrote about above.
He told me that he wants to go to his married cousins place for a weekend to california by himself. Seems to think that will help. I told him to go ahead but I doubt it will help.
