Vero, thanks for your input. Not trying to teach her a lesson, actually it is a lesson to both of us as we will see a preview of what a divorce life will feel like. This will be equally hard for me just like W. Because we will only have the kids half the time each.
I'm not sure where will we be in a few months, but we will do trial separation for 6 months with agreement that no OP will be involved while we work on us to be better. W agreed and so next week we start. She will stay with SIL, which is good because she can really support her during these next coming months.
I will continue to GAL and work on myself. I used to fear separation, I somewhat still do but not much because I will use this time to be strong and confident and that I will be ok with or without my W as part of my 180.
We will continue counseling during these six months. We are also looking for marriage counseling/coaching. Because so far, we're only doing IC and its really not helping us.
In a way this will help my sanity. I was out of line yesterday by grilling her regarding OM. So in this trial separation, at least I wont feel obsess about all of this.
I will act no expectations on all of this maybe in a few days I will believe that.
So next chapter start next week. How hard would this be I don't know. I know I'll be back here to journal.
Thanks to this website. I don't feel alone.
Btw, she's reading 5LL good sign.
Newman
me40; W43 M18; T~20 D18; S13 & S3 bomb 5/9/11 EA busted 4/30/12; 9/4/12; 4/29/13; 6/10/13 same OM
Separated 4/1/14
"Even a flicker of light will shine through darkness-12/25/2012"....better days ahead.
