Things are hopefully getting clearer in my mind. I do have a plan of action, a timeline and a lot of personal issues to focus on, instead of keeping my mind on the problem.
To sum it up. My W is just being my W. The woman who loved me and stayed with me for 10 years but who decided, after a lot of thought and courage, to leave me because she couldn't stand the pain she was living through, a lot of which came from me.
I am horrible at coping with pain and I suppose I still don't fully understand the extent of why she left, but I'm learning little by little through my actions while coping (or trying to cope) with this situation. I'm seeing the person I am a lot more clearly than I did.
She is a good woman and I'm sure that she is also struggling with many issues right now and I keep behaving like a brat who wants his toy back. Definitely not helping things.
Sometimes I think I know what I need to do and then, within moments, I lose sight of it, and get side-tracked by my out-of-control feelings.
I'm back on track now. This is Day 9 of my plan of action but by the looks of it I didn't really stick with it as much as I thought, so now, I'm going to re-read my plan, write it down in short form so I can take it with me at all times and I'll read it as often as I need to to remember every item on it.
Sorry about the long-winded posts. I'll try to keep them shorter from now on (actually this would be a 180 as well, W always said I always go on with things for way too long and with way too many details).
Cheers mate!
Freshman Class of 2012
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
