Dealing with Anger

[Arsene]

Hi 25,

I've been thinking about this all night and morning so when I read your post today, I wasn't surprised 'cause I reached the same conclusion as you. It's my passive aggressive behaviour. I justified it in any way I could but I think it really comes done to this.

Somehow, I wanted to get even with her for not contacting me all week (why should she?). I wanted to give her a taste of her own medicine, so to speak.

I wasn't acting out of love. I was acting out of anger and frustration.

I have a hard time with pain. I'm hurting and I'm not sure how to handle it. I know I'm the one holding on to the pain but for some reason, I need to blame someone, her. I want her to feel like I do. I want her to understand how I feel.
I thought I was fine but I'm not there yet. There is still so much anger I need to process. I will.

I don't understand her, but maybe I haven't tried hard enough to do so. I want so much for my actions to mirror the image of the man I want to be, to match the love I have (or claim to have) for her, but I keep f@#king up. I keep reverting to this. Maybe she's right. Maybe I just can't change. How do you get rid of passive aggressive behaviour? I guess I have to address the anger that triggers it. I try to be aware but I don't seem to see what I'm doing while I'm doing it.

Thanks 25. BTW, the cat's out. "Daniel" is "Arsene".