Can Turtles climb?

[zig]

thanks brit for your insight on this. an di suppose you are right there is a difference between our ditches as you printout. hope some others have something to say about it

journaling -

had a bit of a "strange interaction" with h this afternoon.

he called earlier to "let me know" that he and s were also going to be at the free outdoor concert. i just said great casually. then he started explaining about this and that - talking to the other mom's about meeting and it suddenly started pouring hard and he had to get off the phone in a hurry and said he would call me back

he just did - and wanted me to bring long pants and jacket for s and shoes to the concert. which was a fine request as the temp has dropped seriously and its actually chilly (Yippee!!). he offered to bring a chair for me - but acted really odd, refusing to call it a camping chair but kept describing it as the one that comes in a long sack. wtf? he's the one who taught me what that chair is called!!

then he tells me that he did go and get s a violin and i said thanks and i really appreciate it. then he blurts out that he bought it - and an explanation of how it was cheaper in the long run. i agreed with him that he made a wise choice and thanked him again.

then just before we were getting off the phone i said just a minute h, there's something i'd like to say. we need to discuss for the future how we are going to go about sharing costs for s. for e.g.. if there's a big cost like a violin, does one pay for it or both expected to share it (i had already asked earlier what money he had paid it with and he said he put it on the credit card). he started to get defensive explaining again that he knew it was the cheaper way to go, and that when they were there he "didn't feel like calling me"

i stayed really really mild - almost to the point of indifference - and just replied - oh that's not what i meant - i was thinking that for me if i expect to share the cost of the rental and know it's $15/mo for me, it would be extremely difficult for me to come up with $175 because you decided to go buy it.

so then he said yeah yeah i guess we should figure that out and then i got off the phone.

i didn't have a problem with him deciding to buy it at all - but i will have a problem later if he makes decisions like that that affect my budget planning which is extremely tight right now.

of course when i've had some time to think about this, i realize that i'm not sure if he's thinking straight financially.between our living costs and his unpaid cc bills, there's not enough to cover the costs - and that does not include me counting s's school fees!!

maybe it's time for me to write it all down and give it to him - maybe seeing it on paper will be easier for him.

any advice?