Rachael, You are the only one that can change the dynamics...if you don't want to be at his beck and call, then don't. If you don't feel like going to the bar, then don't, just meet them at the place you are suppose to be going to for dinner.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
