So here is the latest. It's my W's bday today and she sends me a text at work that she is feeling lonely (W had the day off). I told her i had a few things to finish up but that i planned on leaving early anyway. I get home and she thanked me and starts talking about the OM and how there is rumors of him having PA with one of my W co-workers (basically during the same time while on the work trip). My W says how she feels used and looks like a fool. I started to tell her that we all knew he was a slimeball but quickly saw that I was being trapped into a bad conversation. At one point I told her now you know what I felt like when you did the same thing to me. My W agreed but quickly turned it around so that she was the victom (I should have not said it but this is a work in progress for me). My W goes on to say that she has no one to talk to and that she knows this is hard for me to hear but that OM got to her. She has since seen him and has been very cold to him. She is very angry at OM. She then said that she needs to get over what she did and until then can't even decide if she wants to move forward in relationship. She said that she is not sure I am the "right fit" for her. I found myself on a few times trying to talk about R and how she was feeling but quickly realized that I needed to keep my mouth shut. Her final statement to me was that she is afraid that she enjoyed how the PA made her feel and that she has been trying to go back into our 10 years of being together and could not remember ever feeling that way. Again I tried to convince her otherwise but stopped short and simply said ok. I decided it would be best if i left the room for a while. After a few miutes she appreciated that I was listening to her and that she knew all of this was hard for me to hear but that if we were ever going to move forward to work on us that she needs to get over the feeling of having the PA...It hurts to hear but after reading so many of the posts on this forum it sounds like so many of the stories I have read about S who have PA and how they are on a high and forget about all the good times we experienced. I needed to get this out of my system as I know I am not alone in hearing what she said today...