With the LL, I simply told my W about it, explained them to her, and asked her what she thought hers was. Getting them to fill out a worksheet may not be do-able.
With regards to controlling, once I realized I had this issue, I started to recognize the things I did it to maintain it. Criticize is a big one. Mean comments is another. Joking even (see my recent example above).
I know that was a lot to swallow, and some of it probably didn't sound nice, but I hope it helps you think of some of these things from a different perspective.
You're doing great....keep working on it and smile!
