Hi, all of you #2

[ericmsant2]

AA

Sorry dude, I have been busy and have neglected to check in on you. I just read up on your post and the first thing I want to say is sorry. Sorry that you are going through this crap.

On the way back, she asked me to move together out of town. I said no, that I still love her but that my trust in her was gone.

Looks like an honest statement if ya ask me. I just wonder if emotionally you are in a place to say “no’. Damn that freaking latin pride always works it’s way in. I hate it. What about you?

She told me she were she was working and that I could go see her there if I change my mind.

Sounds to me like she left the door open…..Hmmm…funny it appears that you may have the POWER back over YOUR choice. AA, you and only you can decide what it is you want. Only you buddy.

I do not even know how to explain how I am feeling,

Hmm….angry, hurt, betrayed, lied to, abused, lonely, discarded…..I have a funny feeling that a few these would apply, which is why you feel like……

I do not want her back in my life,

That said, you still love her IMO. Why?.....

but I do enjoy her presence

That’s why ^^^^

She was blaming me for our brake up, I remind her that she was the one being unfaithful, and that her decision of being with someone else and whatever guilt she was feeling was hers to deal with.

The blaming you is normal. She is not ready to face HER choice. That said, please realize that it take TWO to break an R. You had a role in this buddy…..you may not want to hear that and right now it is easy to blame her for all of this crap since she is banging someone else…but do not lose the fact that you two had a role.

She said she misses me and can not let go of me.

10 years is a long time buddy…she is probably being honest.

She said she still considers me her husband, to which I said if she really believes that, why she did not do anything to restore our M, and why she still with OM.

Another example of where a good case of STFY may have been a better option. IMO, you put the blame of the failure ALL On her. You tried to guilt her. You want her to FEEL bad. I get it dude. I totally get it. Why not….just say nothing or….something along the lines of “while you are with OM – I will not be a part of your life”. And leave it as just that.

We talked about him going to school, and what he needs to do when he does not understands something. Just to let all of you know, SS13 has battled speech, attention and learning dissorders all of his life. I have been there with him all the way thru. When he was 8 he made the promise of not being a "special kid" anymore. It brings tears to my eyes, because he has kept his promise and 2 years ago he got out of the special education program. Last semester he got "student of the month" for the complete school.

Step children or not – YOU helped raise him. YOU were a role model in his life. I cannot implore you enough to try and remain in HIS life. These kids need you and believe it or not….you need them.

I gave him my phone number, and told him he needed to let his mom know that he saw me and that I give him the number.

He does not have to let his mom know chit! The R between you two is between YOU two. Do not put his mom in the middle!

but it makes me think if there is something I am covering unconsciously to accept seeing my wife

Ayep…. 1) you still love her 2) you are still afraid to lose her 3) you are still not digging deep enough. Just my opinion.


So what else is going on in your life?

Oh by the way…..

it sounds to me that your wife would like to R the M. it also sounds to me that you are not sure if you do?

Re: this quote from Scaredsilly….I agree and will only say that you do not have to make a choice today on if you want her back. Sometimes…doing nothing is doing something!

Anger and Pride are feelings that can often make us FEEL like we need to do something. In my experience….that is NOT the time to do something or to make a choice.



Eric