What a night. I slept though which is good but woke very early thinking things through.
Lots of thoughts this morning, part of it is why we're not sleeping together. What is it accomplishing, well mainly to help me contain my urge to ML to her. This was W biggest complaint while working through our R. My urge to feel her love through ML that I pressured her and this built more resentment. Towards the last two weeks I was able to control myself. This is my biggest fault but I think this is my language of love...this and quality time is what scored high for me in the book 5LL. So no ML for now=180 for me.
The next thought, is the cheese less tunnel. 4 months after the affair we lived in the same roof. I detached and GAL which made me better, but I know I still have LOTS of work to do. But living in the same roof is not working, W after OM contact her she's hooked. Part of her cloud is that she'll be happy if we get divorce. So my thing is why not give her a preview of what she's asking for. I will propose to her to act as if we are divorced.
We will act the custody of the kids 50/50, I will stay w my mom the days she stay with the kids and take the kids on my turn. This way she can sort through her feelings and find out for herself is this really what she wants? I think this is the last chance to save my marriage. If she's truly happy without me in the picture then I accept. If she wants her family the better.
This is no what I want but this is the life she thinks will make her happy.
What do you guys think? Any harm in his that I'm missing? Newman
me40; W43 M18; T~20 D18; S13 & S3 bomb 5/9/11 EA busted 4/30/12; 9/4/12; 4/29/13; 6/10/13 same OM
Separated 4/1/14
"Even a flicker of light will shine through darkness-12/25/2012"....better days ahead.
