IH Separation-continuing to grow as we grow apart

[breakdownbill]

There seems to be a disconnect in terms of what you think I'm recommending.

What are you recommending? Boundaries that I can't enforce with any meaningful consequences right now?

I didn't say that you needed to have an R talk. What I've been trying to tell you is that you don't need a job to get your self-respect back. For some reason you wrap everything around a job when in fact it's within you.

This would lead to an R talk. It's not all about self-respect, yes mine has been damaged, but I take heart with the fact that I'm on a road to recover this, the job is more than a job to me. It's not just a job, it will be an accomplishment I never thought possible 10 years ago. What it represents to me is a timeline, a big piece to my own jigsaw puzzle.

I can't commit to working on my M or a separation 100% whilst I am doing this. A bit like when you get that message on an airplane saftey demo - you put on your own oxygen mask before helping others.

I'm still fixing myself, whilst she is in contact with the OM, there is nothing I can do to fix my M as a R.

Your biggest problem is fear. No job will prepare you for the emotional turmoil which is coming up. That's what you need to not be afraid of.

I agree with this to a certain extent, but let me put it to you in other words.

If you were going to a climb a mountain would you just do it without any preparation, research or training?

I'd want the best equipment for the climb, want to know the quickest and safest routes and most importantly I'd want to be physically strong enough to make it to the top.

I'm not climbing a mountain, but the principles are still the same.

I really appreciate your input Mr Bond, but this where I am at and this is where I am coming from.

Bill