best and worse thing to ever go through

[eyesopen]

I figure I have already gotten such great support and motivation from this site that it is time to share my story and hopefully save my marriage.

I am a 37 year old male with a S5 and a D3. W is 31 and as far as I understand a WAW. We have been married for 6y and together 9y. Like most I thought we had a pretty good marriage(boy was I wrong). Not many arguments, really seemed pretty stress free. When I think back there was one, probably major, sign that I turned away from. 3 years ago W told me she was unhappy, but as far as I remember didn't say why. I don't recall her telling me she wasn't happy with our relationship. Our daughter was a few months old at the time so I figured it was possibly hormonal or something. I mean really, it wasn't until a couple of months ago that I started to realize that I need to pay more attention to everything other than the words that come out her mouth, or anyones mouth for that matter. She has not verbally told me where she thinks our marriage broke down, although I have my ideas. Until about a year and a half ago I worked nights. I think we started to disconnect then. Then about a year and half ago I was laid off and she picked up the slack and went to work. She had benn a stay at home mom until then. She started waitressing, so now she was gone at night. More disconnect. I also now that I haven't been very good at supporting her ideas and goals. I would say I am mildly controlling. Also had no clue about love languages, who what I have learned in the last couple of months.
So about 3 months ago I recieved the ILYBNILWY talk. I also heard a lot of other cliches, like, you deserve better-the kids will be all right-I can't treat you like a wife should treat her husband-don't know who I am outside of being a mom-need to be on my own. So for the first month I did everything wrong, beg, plead, cry, try and get her to read things I had found that showed her she wasn't the first woman to go through this. Guess what, it didn't work. Second month I started to pull it together, but would backslide often. Third month I really have gotten it. We are seperated, w moved out almost three weeks ago. We have almost daily contact due to the kids. I am doing very well as far as accepting that I can only control myself. I also realize that she is driving the bus right now and I am ok with that. I do love her more than I thought I could ever love. I am prepared for any outcome, yes there has been D talk. I will not pursue it, but if she makes the mediator appt. I will be there. If she thinks that will make her happy then that is what will be done. I want her to be happy more than anything. The last time there was any D talk was about a week ago, it was via text. She said she thought we should she a mediator and asked how I was feeling about that. I replied that I fell good about what I have learned through this and that I respect her choices and I will honor her decisions. No talk since then about a D. I do not talk about us when I see her, I have offered my help as far painting her townhouse that she is renting. She asked today if I would put a water softener in for her, I said for sure. I am just not sure how much I should do for her but as of right now things seem to be going pretty well. I am staying positive and trying to show her what kind of man she is leaving. I am happy and energetic 90% of the time, and I will not give up. Not sure I went on too long, this the first time I have ever posted to a forum. Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated.