I had dinner with W today even after what happened. She wanted to talk. I said ok so we had dinner. After I found out her meeting with the OM yesterday I told her family this morning.
I did the same, but not with as much luck. My W became livid that I had done this. Although her family did try to talk to her, it was not met with the same reaction that your W had.
Originally Posted By: newman7977
W said ok and promise will cut all contact with this OM while she work on us. She emailed him and cc me on it saying its done.
Proceed with EXTREME caution here. OM's are like a drug. I was told this over and over, but did not realize just how true it is. My W was 'done' with OM on at least 3 occasions during our 18 month S. Saying that she is 'done' is much different than actually dealing with unresolved feelings and actually being DONE. Also, don't expect the OM to give up so easily.
Just a word of caution.
Originally Posted By: newman7977
I'm giving her space and right now we decided to sleep in different rooms. I told her to get out of MB and after that I felt bad and told her we will switch off. I don't know how long we will make this sleeping arrangements. We will see family therapist. We are seeing IC now. W diagnosed with severe depression.
I originally kick her out of the house out of my anger in light of yesterday's EA but now looks like we will live in same roof.
Any thoughts on my sitch so far? How do I continue to GAL now that she seem she would work on us? I'll keep my 180s which is to daily spent time at least 30 mins each of my kids after work. I'm also exercising a lot.
I would continue working on yourself, becoming a better father, enjoying personal interests, and becoming a better man. BUT, I would also really focus on your 180 of becoming a more involved H, and working on providing your W whatever it is that communicates in HER love language.
^^^ ALL assuming that the EA is over. This strategy changes, IMO, IF she resumes with the OM.
Originally Posted By: newman7977
She told her sister that she sees the changes in me but fear of I'm only using these as tactics.
Trust me, getting her to TRUST that the changes are for real, and not just a tactic, is going to take LOTS of TIME.
Consistent actions + sufficient time = Change that your W can trust.
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
