Your M, and your family life, has suffered much more than most young couples. I hope you are seeing a very well trained therapist and not just some MC...b/c of having so many crises in such a short span of time.
Many MC's will tell you the opposite of how you need to deal with a WAW. For example, some will tell you to do all these things with your W (or for your W) that she has stated she wanted. But here's the thing......although she tried to tell you what she wanted from you in "past times".....is not going to work in the "here and now". That's why she won't respond to what you think she'll want from you. She's not going to do it "now" b/c she's numb. She feels like she has nothing else to give to you. She feels emotionally dead and she wants so badly to feel happy again.....and to feel in love.
It can happen. But you might as well prepare yourself for a very long stretch of time laid ahead. I'm not just talking "months", either. If you don't know for sure if you love her enough.....you'll find out.
Most of all, I pray that your family can heal from so much pain. I hope you'll take extra care of yourself b/c you will need it.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
