Hi Cadet, Thank you for your response. I have read DB and I read the one section on Affairs in the DR book. I have gone back to the library to read the entire book.
Over the last few days I have really been concentrating on not “Allowing” him to have control over my feelings. He knows me best he knows I am an emotional person and I think he is trying everything he can to “push my buttons” if you will. And for now this seems to be working for me.
We are still in the same house, however like I said before he is totally stonewalling me. So I am coming across like I really do not care. After our last conversation of him accusing me of calling him an Alcoholic and Suicidal,(which I never did, but that is what he heard from his therapist) He had stayed in our bonus room playing Video games for 14+ hours and I just let him be. He is either sleeping on the couch or the bonus room at this point. The sad part about it is our 7 year old S is starting to notice his behavior. “Why don’t we have family night” or “Why didn’t daddy hug you” These questions have been difficult for me. My H is just not seeing how his actions are affecting our son.
Last night I got a cancelation appointment with my Therapist. I did not tell my H about it. I just sent him a text asking him to be home by 6:15. He did not ask why and I did not say. He was home and I just left, not telling him where I was going or how long I would be gone. Again he did not ask. When I got home 4 hours later (I stopped by my GF house for a bit) he never asked where I was nor did I tell him. He was watching a Movie and I asked him what it was. Instead of just telling me he clicked the grid on the remote, then the info so I could read it. I found this amusing. And I finished my beverage and just went to bed not saying anything to him.
Now this is what I would be doing. Was this the right way to behave? It just seems so counterproductive…….
