Stuckville...population 2.

[Denver_2010]

But more to the point. DB is a slippery concept. It doesn't always work and if it doesn't then people just shift how they wanted it to work. It's like losing weight. Some people say I want to loose 30-lbs. Say they only lose 15, but end up being healthier. They they shift their goals to "Hey, I'm healthier."
That may be true, but that wasn't your goal. it's rationalization pure and simple.

For those where DB does "work" they say see it worked. That's confirmation bias. You can't win and you can't lose with DB.

Haven't I been saying this for almost 2 years now? LOL!

I actually agree with you for the most part Harrier. I simply decided that I wasn't going to accept this, "if you improve yourself, it doesn't matter what happens with your M" concept. I decided that I do agree with the improving and saving yourself, but that was the originally goal...

They HAVE to go hand in hand. The should be duel goals. 1) save your M, 2) improve yourself. Not necessarily in that order.

What qualifies as success eventually becomes up to the individual poster.
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But I do agree with JTB Harrier. And this is something that I've thought about you for a very long time. I just don't recall you ever really applying DB tactics to your own sitch. In fact, you kind of just stopped talking about your own sitch.

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But none of this ^^ is really the point right now.

My question to you, about your sitch, is what can you do to get your W to put in the work that she needs to put in to turn this around?

It sounds to me that what you have been doing isn't working. A cheeseless tunnel. You need to do something different.