And when GF is around S, which will most likely happen, there's another load of crap that will slam you.

Let it go, girl. You can't control him, so don't sit around thinking "if only he did (whatever), things would be OK" because they wouldn't. You were unhappy in your marriage before, and I would guess the reason for that was you were unhappy with yourself.

You have the opportunity to turn that around and become a happy person, a person with self-esteem and person who can truly love.

What are you doing to turn your life around?
Are you reading the detachment list?
Are you reading something uplifting everyday?
Are you doing a daily gratitude list?
Do you get exercise everyday?
Are you meditating?
Do you spend time just having silly fun with you S?

What are your goals?

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss