Long story short, W and I married 8 years ago, had two kids, now 8 and 5, and I had a hard time adjusting to the changes the kids brought to our relationship. I come from a very traditional family where my dad worked two jobs, and payed the bills. My mom cooked,cleaned,raised the kids..etc. My W comes from more modern upbringing, more money..etc. During the early years of our marriage my W was struggling with being a new mom and I was struggling with financial pressures. Im the only bread winner. According to my W, I was not helpful with the kids, I only accepted the responsibility of making money. As time went on,she began to resent me for not helping out,and to make matters worse, I worked out of our home. I felt so much pressure paying for all the new stuff needed to create the life my W wanted that I began to skip out on the family things, birthdays, play dates to try to make more money etc. She resented me for it, we fought, I said things to her that I didn't mean...I started to resent her....our relationship began to break down , slowly but surely. Over the next 3 years, she sought therapy and in doing so realized that she didn't want to be married to a man like me. She warned me over the years that if I kept saying mean or critical things to her, or didn't participate w the kids more, that her love bank would gradually diminish to empty and it would be too late by then. She also said that if I was nothing but an ATM to her, once she made money, she would not need me anymore. She started grad school a few years ago and is about to graduate and get a job. Well, last December she threatened D, and now she wants me to move out. I have been trying everything since she threatened to D. Nothing seems to work, she is totally shut down from me. She said ILYBNILWY. She and I have been living in our home like a separated couple, we don't sleep together anymore. All she wants from me is for me to give her space. She has no romantic or loving feelings for me at all. She wants me to move out, but be there for the kids. We are in counseling and are now preparing to write a controlled separation agreement. I'am looking for an apt to rent. I'am confused and don't know what to do anymore. I love her and don't want our family to break up. HELP!
