Lilly- I read your posts and I felt so much the same at the beginning of my sitch. I've been in this for about a year and it took me a very very long time to stabilize my emotions. Even now I don't think they are stable, but it's a whole lot better than before.
If I were talking to myself a year ago I would suggest working with an IC that focuses on cognitive behavioral management. Now I'm going to kick you in the bottom, cuz this is what I would have liked to hear.
RESEARCH THOUGHT STOPPING! There are some posts on here that focus on it. Some very good good ideas! Also, are you a good student? Because you have homework. Everyday you need to work on your homework. You know what your homework is... meditate pray automatic negative thoughts (research) journal have a daily meditation book get the self esteem workbook set goals that only YOU can control! (ex. today I will smile, I will do a kind act without getting noticed, I will do something just for me, I will pamper myself, I will hug my family and friends, etc)
My H continues seeing OW and it kills me, BUT** I'm not dead! I'm so much stronger now. Your H is in lala land. See this as you taking a vacation from your H and your sitch.
I'll be praying for you lilly.
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
