busted affair again!

[newman7977]

I'm still in moderation and not sure what I wrote before. I'm basically a wreck right now emotionally. Because I'm hurt again, not as bad as when I found out back in May. But this second lie about the EA is eating me again.

We've been married 18 years, we have 3 kids (D17; S12: S3). Our lives have been hectic, kids, work, money you know the usual reality of life. W dropped the bomb last year as I mentioned in my first post. She had complaints about our relationship but stupid me didn't pay attention. Her complaints was we became distant, didn't do dating like couple would do, I didn't have time for her, didn't talk to her, what else? That's all I remember for now. I really didn't think these were a big deal until the bomb. Oh and she told me I wasn't really a good father. I felt like she blamed me for everything to justify her EA.

I understand I'm not perfect, and my 180s were focusing on the kids. I'm more involved since the bomb. After reading on this forum I confirmed I was doing the right thing so now I keep working on to be a better dad.

Its hard because one of her complaints were I had a world of my own and did my own stuff during the marriage. So with GALing my fear is that this would confirm her impression of me. Need your thoughts on this.

I think my wife is getting the words of affirmation from the guy. It make sense, because it's all text and somehow she fell for it. She says she's in love and he's in love with her. And I finally realized her love language is affirmation and acts of service after reading 5LL.

About the OM, all I know is he's a childhood friend about 20 yrs ago and my W found him in FB and start talking with him. He's married and he told my W he's also having difficulties in his married.