What Next.

[lillystillinlove]

Thank you for checking in SS and 007. I was feeling a bit lonely. I started the new meds a week ago today and my perspective has definitely changed. My anxiety level is a lot lower and I control over my emotions. Things are only suppose to get better over the next 3 to 4 weeks. I hope that is true.

We are holding off on the MC for now. I found a new MC that I hope to try soon though. I get the rehashing thing and that it's just keeping everything raw and at the surface so I plan to revisit MC in a month or so.

GALing, I'm back in painting classes and I don't bail on seeing friends. I am occasionally able to get H to join our S and me on a family day. H wants S to believe things are the same. S and I do a lot more together, picnics, the park, the beach, etc... but all that is after the responsible parent stuff that I shoulder the bulk of. I'm also going to start meeting a friend for lunch downtown a couple of time a month. That is all I have the time for right now and the new meds make me super tired, SE that should go away, if not I'll have to change the time of day I take it.

Mr. Bond Thanks, I know I'll make it through, logically there isn't any other option. But my heart keeps breaking and logic get lost for a while. Every day is a new day and every day I get closer to forgiveness. That is until I learn something new and I start all over. I'm choosing to look at myself as a mother fighting for the best situation for my son, a happy, loving, intact family. I reject viewing myself as a pathetic, desperate woman clinging to a man that isn't worth my love right now.