Patience is what is killing me with this stuff. If your gut is telling you not to do it then there is a really good reason for those doubts.
Thanks Sam, you're confirming what I was thinking as well. I'd like to think that Retrouvaille would be some eye-opening experience for her and me both, but the potential downside is that she'll have the opposite reaction to it and it'll end up being backsliding instead of forward progress. She's about a week from moving out and I really think it's going to take 3 to 6 months before she even begins to consider reconciliation based on the success threads I've read here, so I don't think I'll push for Retrouvaille unless there's some miraculous turnaround on her part in the next month.
Originally Posted By: Sam1313
Tearing down the walls I have built up has also been really hard. I too have shed more tears in the last month then I have in decades. It is a tough road but it is part of the 180. Hang in there.
Thanks! I've been doing pretty well emotions-wise the last couple of weeks, but I'm sure when W moves out it's going to get tough again for a while. We've worked out a 50-50 split on two of our kids (the 3rd is in college) and even on the weeks I don't have them they'll still be coming to my house after school and W will pick them up there, so I'll get to see them every weekday regardless of whether it's my week or hers. So that'll make it an easier transition for me (hopefully).
My wife talked about her big brick wall in MC, said she built it around herself and can't take it down now. DB'ing is all about removing it a brick at a time. I wish it could be kicked down, but it was built slowly and has to be deconstructed slowly.
