As for understanding them which is hard, I shifted the focus to understanding myself, and why I chose someone who had serious emotional issues [despite being a lovely husband for a very long time and a great father]. I found the book by Susan Andersen 'The Jounrey from Abandonment to Healing' one of the most helpful ones of all the many I read, partly because it had exercises to do, which worked, at least for me.
I am working through that book right now. I can tell it is helping me. I am able to be in the same room as him and not get all riled up. I just keep reminding myself to deal with myself, and to let others figure out their own lives by themselves. I am doing the exercses and now I knnow who to blame for the terrible things I do sometimes. (Outer Me... what a wild child!)
Aloha,
Wendy
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
