Now separated. Am I doing the right things? Pt 2

[Denver_2010]

Thanks Arsene and I also want to thank Denver. I appreciate your guidance with the “one liner” that I texted W. I told her, “no, I am not in a relationship right now”. I didn’t receive a response back from her but I don’t really care.

No problem Rough. I think that your response was better than the one that I suggested! It was a little more vague. Love it.

Here’s my game plan. From others perspectives, please let me know if I am on track. I am going to dress nice, smile, be friendly and focus on daughter. When there’s chit chat going on, I will give the impression things are ok on my end. I don’t want to send the message that, “things are great” at the same time I don’t want to send a message that “I am in the dumps”. I would appreciate opinions from any of you.

Actually, I absolutely think that you should act like everything is GREAT with you. That you are happy and living your life. There is NOTHING wrong with that. This situation is not YOUR fault. Your W has created it. So if anyone has the perception that you are moving forward and living your life, and they think that is wrong, they should look right at your W to blame. NOT you. And you shouldn't feel like you have to please any of these people.

That's my very strong opinion.

Denver

P.S. I read your next post too. I may not have ever stated anything negative about my W. And I can't even be completely sure of that without going back and looking at all of my threads. But I certainly had negative thoughts from time to time. My W was selfish as well during our S. It was frustrating. I too gave her more than I probably should have. I loaned her money, and went out of my way to do favors for her. The ONLY difference that I see Rough is that doing those things for my W was my 180. I was pretty selfish during our R/M and I was trying to show my W that I now recognize that and was capable of changing. I'm not sure that you are in that boat.

Bottom line is that you do what is best for you and your situation. You have to balance being a man that only a fool would leave with, well, not being a doormat. What you are doing, and what I did, may be a woman's version of "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free"!