Thanks Regret. I've said it before, and I'll keep saying it....I'm happier now than I've ever been, and my M is in shambles. How awesome is it going to be when my M isn't?!
I really feel for your H. Abandonment really tears you up, and scars you as an adult. He probably doesn't even realize it yet, which is the worst. He thinks he's strong, pushing thru, doing what he has to. You're breach of trust is a horrible horrible thing for him (sorry, but it really is...I don't think my W even comprehends how devastating it was for me). If he is anything like me, he probably never completely trusted you to start. His walls have been there all his life and he really doesn't know how to function otherwise.
How does your H behave with your kids? Is he part of their lives? Does he show a tender side with them? Or is he quick to anger and let's you do most of the parenting? I'm interested what he's planning for them. If he's like me, the very last thing he wants is for them to experience what he did, in any fashion.
Does your H read at all? I am thinking about a book a read that basically said anger is the easiest emotion to show, and that really hit the mark for me. It might be the Codependent book or it might be No More Mr. Nice Guy....I'll dig around and see if I can find it. If he does read, it could be a trigger of sorts, as it was for me to a point, but he'd have to be open to it.
I have read some of your sitch, but haven't caught up yet. I'll try to get thru it today. I'll also spend some time thinking about what I think my W could have done to help me along the path (outside of asking for D), if anything. Understanding his deep scarring might be the only thing you can do, and I do think that would help immensely, but I'll think on it.
