I just remembered a question I have, I checked the Retrouvaille schedules and there's going to be a session in my area but it's only about 2 months away. I suspect W would agree to go, but I'm concerned her heart might not be in it since she will not have been out of the house long at that point, and I'm also concerned she might view it as me pressuring her to R. Any thoughts? My inclination is to not say anything about it and try to get a read on her in about a month and decide whether or not to schedule it then.
Also, I haven't mentioned this but I've always been a very spiritual person and I have really laid my tears on God's shoulders as no one else wants to see them. Like many guys, I was raised to suppress tears and went many, many years without shedding a single one. I've cried more since this misery started than in the last probably 35 years combined. It's been a tough road.
I have had the same thoughts about getting my wife to agree to marriage counseling and it all comes down to would she see it as me trying to pressure her. This is that fine line between detaching and when to try and work on the relationship. I have decided to let my wife take the lead in this at her own pace. For me it is a matter of not taking a step back as I am afraid my wife will see it as me trying to manipulate things. If her heart is not in it would it be beneficial? Or would it set you back? Right now I am willing to try anything but if my wife's heart is not in it personally I would wait as I think it would set us back. Patience is what is killing me with this stuff. If your gut is telling you not to do it then there is a really good reason for those doubts.
Tearing down the walls I have built up has also been really hard. I too have shed more tears in the last month then I have in decades. It is a tough road but it is part of the 180. Hang in there.
