1. Where is the line between being kind, pleasant, funny, fun to be around and pursuing? How can I be loving and not be seen as pursuing?
If these things are what you want to do & are not tied to any outcome & expectation regarding your W's reaction then they are fine.
I would say though that you would need to be consistent with that behaviour and be the same around other family members & friends, or you could unknowingly be changing your behaviour around your W, hoping for but not expecting a reaction, which would be pursuing IMO.
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4. OM is not on my mind at all. I have been able to totally forget about him (or at least chase any thought of him that comes to mind). As I am starting to find my way through the music scene in this city, it seems very likely I would bump into him, either with or without W (as just happened with Suppo). How should I behave when/if I do? Does this change if he's with W? Does this change if I'm with D8?
I often think that I'll bump into the OM and wonder how I would behave. This hasn't happened yet for me, so my answer is hypothetical & I might react differently if / when it actually happens.
I would like think I would be the bigger man in that scenario, I shouldn't be the one who feels uncomfortable, that should lay solely on their shoulders.
In every possibilty of bumping into them W/ kids, W/ wife, alone, I know that I would not be violent and aggressive. The contact would be short as I would not want to be in their company for long. I would project myself confidently, without consideration for what they think or may feel.
The OM may have good taste in women, but anyone attached or not who has an affair with someone married hasn't got the best of moral compasses and is not someone I would choose to be friends with.
Hope these answers give you some thoughts, I think the vets are best answering the others.
Bill
Me 34 W 32 D 9 S 6 M: 9 years T: 12 Bomb: 02/11/12 EA/PA: 12/17/11 - ongoing Moved out: Oct 2012 Joint Filed for D: 2/11/13
