RH, glad you are getting value out of your coaching sessions. I read your thread. Your sitch sounds complicated to me. I can't understand why someone would D when they are obviously so in love. MLC is a nightmare. I wish there was a pill you could take. Follow Chuck's advice. He is the expert. We all care about you here, but you need to stick to a plan and I think your DB coach's is the best.
My sitch is going well. I took the leap of faith the other night after we had a good day together. We were playing musical beds here and I thought this is crazy, I should be in my own bed. So I went upstairs and said to my H. I don't want to sleep downstairs tonight. I need a man to ML to me. H said .."can it wait until morning?" (don't ask me??). I said of course. I just lay there. After 10 minutes he started to ML to me. It wasn't just sex, there was affection, kissing and cuddling too. I was expecting him to kick me out like he had done a few months ago, or I was expecting him to move out into the other room. Instead he cuddled me until he was asleep. In the morning, we had coffee and watched the morning news and talked just as we always used to. He wasn't affectionate at all but I thought, what the hell, this is better than I was expecting. I won't have any further expectations of him.
Then I worried whether I should go back to our bed again the following night. Again I went to bed but waited for him to realise I was there and leave the room to sleep elsewhere. He didn't. Again no affection, but no resistance either. Same thing last night. Each time we would wake and have coffee and watch the news together.
So what can I say? Do what works!! I am surprised as the next person. There has been no R talk, but I will put no pressure on him about anything yet. I am confused as to why there is no affection forthcoming from him. If I kiss him goodbye he seems OK with it, but he never initiates. Weird!! So I am just going with it for now. Am I in piecing? I wouldn't have a clue. If I need to I will ring for some advice from my DB coach in a few weeks.
