Suppo: Im way behind but am gonna try to catch up some although my view is probably much the same as Denvers and I think he's given you great advice. To answer your question about the text...of course it was anger and lashing out, but it was also her wanting this done so that she doesn't have to feel badly about being with OM.
If this plays like most others do (at least mine did years ago when we went through our first seperation) then now you will get the pleasure of hearing how what she's doing isn't an affair because she is done with the marriage and you just can't get that through your head. That normally comes not long after the A is confirmed, especially if your already seperated when its discovered.
I am sure you are right & this is justification for the A
For me, I would personally drag my feet absolutely as long as I could b/c I personally feel if the D goes through its harder to reconcile. That is a completly personal opinion and im not even sure that im certain why i feel that way, but its how I feel. And im not sure where you live or what your state laws say.
I kind of feel this way as well about dragging feet, it shows I am still fighting...But then the catch-22 of it might show you are being selfish & un-cooperative!
so then it comes to 'irreconcilable differences', or the newer version of that 'general indignities' and again this is only in my home state, but im told by more than one lawyer friend that its almost impossible to "prove" those grounds in court. So then it becomes a matter of having to be seperated for 18 months before the divorce will be granted. Again thats only one state and its only if I choose to fight the grounds, but there may be a similar way in your state to drag it out if thats your choice.
I definitely would like to drag it out, as (maybe I am dreaming), but I truly don't believe her when she stated to kids and I that the almost 16 year M has been all un-happines & a sham, and the only good thing that came out of it was the children. But what do I truly know. Tough decisions at any right and I really want & think this can work out with more time for healing etc.
Might not be what you want to do, but if you wanna drag it out im betting there's a way in most states.
I definitely want to drag it out as I stated above, I feel that no matter how much venom she spits right now, she really doesn't know what she wants at the moment. But what the heck do I know & this would be mind-reading at its best!
