Can Turtles climb?

[zig]

thanks vera - and thanks for the reminder to go read pema's first chapter - i have done that periodically and it sits by my bedside - so will go do it right away.

maybe if i look at it from a different perspective - i could say that yes i have grown so much = just the fact that i was so aware of how i was reacting.

and i did start to spin off a couple of times - but went straight to meditate, and that helped me to surrender in the moment as much as i was capable of. and so i also was able to stop right away and even think of going to meditate, let alone doing it. the last few days, i have realized that the only way to get through this for me is huge amounts of meditating - like every hour on the hour if i have to!!

after i read what you described about what pema's says - a little light went on - i think this feeling hopeless - it's very new and very raw and very different.

i have been so determinedly focused for so long on DB'ing and hoping and believing in it, that to finally allow myself to feel hopeless, is making me feel very vulnerable. i feel raw and open and very emotional. but instead of trying to talk myself to a good place, i am finding that it is okay to sit with it, to just face it completely and i find myself saying, it's okay - soon you will feel better, even if in the moment it's very hard to see that possibility.

i think for the first time, i am in the beginning stages of truly becoming comfortable with the unknown. i'm not quite there yet - but at least comfortable enough to think about it without immediately wanting to control it in some way.

i've thought a lot about control and wanting to be right vs. wrong and what triggers me off the most when i get frustrated. reading about frustrations from Turtle's website, helped me work through and uncover some of what was going on there. i like his approach on how to solve it - by turning within and looking for what the underlying issues are within oneself.

how are you vera? - i have a lot of catching up to do. i hope things are going well for you

thanks again sweet friend - i'll come over soon
(((( ))))
zig