The "pause" happened on the way home from the trip. She noticed that he wasn't "there" with her. (No kidding - he was emailing me while she was driving!) She felt she had to step away to give him the opportunity to see what he wants. It's a weird term "pause"...not a break, not together - he's just free to explore what he wants/needs without consequences.
It's been a nice change for me, even though it's only been 24 hrs, I no longer feel like OW. I don't feel like I have to "hide". But he still feels/does guilt when we're together. And that makes sense...but it hurts too!
I was all ready to give him a big lecture when we met yesterday, that we couldn't "fool around" because he'd just be throwing away his new R, instead of ending it respectfully. Well that went out the window quick enough. I did get to say that there are 2 decisions to make - 1)does he want to be with her? 2) if no, does he want to be with me? While he can't have both, it doesn't mean he should base one decision on the other.
The problem is he misses her when he's with me and misses me when he's with her.
He's messed up. I think it's too soon to say what he wants, but he seems to think he needs to decide "yesterday". He's afraid to end up losing us both and at the same time doesn't want to hurt either of us.
The house being sold and him having to move doesn't help either. Too soon to "move in" with either the gf or me & so he's feeling like his whole life is getting away from him.
