"Just when I think I am doing better - he does something that brings me right back here."
No. YOU're interpreting into what you want. All he's doing is being a nice guy, which for the most part he has been this whole time even during your A.
"I cant do anything more for him. As much as I want to, I cant."
And you shouldn't.
"Last week, KD thought as I did, that the little things that I was doing here and there were good things."
Yes they were good things. Most situations will have positives come up and not be all negative.
"they played with my emotions."
Again because of YOUR interpretation of what YOU want. You have to start thinking about what HE wants.
"i feel as if I have to NC to get back to start again. Does that make sense?"
Perfect sense. It happens. That's why you have to essentially release YOUR hold on him and rely on faith and hope. Will he come back? No one knows not even himself, but he won't be able to learn what he really wants unless you unchain him.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
