Had a tough day yesterday as I mentioned in someone else's thread. The day started great, but as I was getting ready to run out for groceries, I hear W talking to her M about OM. It sounded an awful lot like they were in a relationship that wasn't working out. It was really difficult to hear. Part of it was probably my own "filling in the blanks" but I think that only applies to some.
On the bright side, she didn't try to hide while I was in the room. I think she changed the subject a few times, but she didn't have a problem talking in front of me. I guess that is good.
I kinda got into a funk about it and wasn't really upbeat for most of the day. W asked me multiple times what I was mad about and what was wrong, but I simply avoided the topic. Before we went to bed I was reading and we talked a little. She asked me why I was mad and I said "I really haven't been mad. More confused, and feeling disrespected." She asked me if I wanted to talk about it and I thought in silence for a few mins, really weighing it out, and said "No, I don't think it will help."
I couldn't really see much benefit to it honestly. She would have explained away everything she said. She might have been honest, she might have lied. I wouldn't know, and history tells me she'll be defensive and lie or omit as necessary. And at the end, I probably wouldn't feel any better and she'd see my insecurities flash in front of her again, so I just dropped it.
This is basically what Cheryl told me to do during my coaching session...just don't worry about OM for now. Generally, I'm ok with that approach, but to hear W talk about him in the detail she did makes it really really difficult.
This morning W woke up cranky...wasn't very friendly at all and I just ignored it. She came to me a few times like she wanted to talk, but then clammed up, so I just returned to my office. She asked me to sit on the patio and have coffee, which I did, but then she got up after a few mins. Before she left, she said she was cranky, stressing about work, and said she'd see me later.
Man, it'll be nice to get off this roller coaster some day.
