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[Denver_2010]

Once the A with your W was uncovered how was her reaction toward you & kids???

When I confronted her on the EA before she moved out of the home, she denied that it was an EA. She said no such thing as EA. Gave me the 'friends' speech etc. Other than that, it was pure vitriol. But that was basically how she treated me from the point of me confronting her on EA, up and until we began talking again 6 or 7 weeks later.

The PA I didn't learn of until then. And she was just very upfront about it. Calmly and cooly said 'yes' when I asked her about it. Followed by her telling me that I would have to be able to get passed that if we were ever going to have a chance at R.

I don't have kids with my W, so I didn't have to deal with that aspect. Mine was a bit different in that I was dealing with SS who had been introduced to OM as W's friend from the get go.

How did you get through & process the thought???

No easy answer here. I was absolutely miserable at first (with EA first, and then later with PA, and then later with resumed PA). It just takes time for it to settle in as reality. Each 'bomb' got easier to process, but it was never easy. In fact, it still isn't. I still struggle at times when I relive certain things that happened in my head.

I think Chatter said that it is PTSD... That is ABSOLUTELY true.

Kids and I have had a miserable weekend, with last night ending in a huge lashing out at all of us, when she dropped off the kids stuff. Lots of blame, anger, hate words, demeaning comments to kids & straight out hatred stuff that I did when I wasn't at my best a few years ago to the kids in front of me.

I'm not surprised. Again, she is confused. Trying to rationalize her choices. But somewhere in there, she knows that what she is doing is wrong. Not uncommon for it to manifest itself as anger.

I Love her so much & want nothing more for her to come back & us work through this. I know that this will take time (via how long Denver & Starsky spent DBing), especially now that OM is definitely in the picture. But I think my PMA was just shot down over the ocean.

Just work to try and get it back. It is perfectly normal after the weekend that you had. Let yourself feel the pain. I think that it's the only way to heal. But don't let yourself get lost in it. Work on getting that PMA back. It will take some time, but you'll get there.

Denver