I came, I saw, still conquering/trying to forgive

[Broken74]

Hi Heartbroke, thanks for the kind words. Pending my atty's chat with DA to see if the charges can be dismissed/expunged prior to the original date set by the court of 12/5 so I can be "freed" to seek other employment opportunities as I desire.

Mr.Bond thanks for your feedback. I am still working on my anger in the face of this nonsense. I was never angry prior to intertwining my life with this woman. My main anger point at this point is that despite all her wrongdoing, she won't admit or atone for it in any way. I am still working on this but am obviously flailing in this at present. She premeditated and consciously robbed me blind which is a very hard pill to swallow.

verabefierce--I was filing because I want this over/closed ASAP. Based on her financial raping of me through this exercise, the RIGHT thing to do would be for her to pay any fees related to Divorce point that she has continued pushing toward. It is obvious that right and wrong carries very little weight in these matters.

labug--The only reason I bring up the rings is that in our last conversation she gave her verbal word that she would return them. I see this in all the nonsense I've been put through over the last year as the least she could do. I have no legal basis for the rings as in the separation agreement that I should not have signed (she played my emotions to her advantage in November long before I found this site) and coerced me into signing an agreement that absolved her from all financial responsibility as well as protecting her affair partner from future potential alienation of affection action by me. Again this is a "right and wrong" point.

Brit -- Thank you, as you can see I started talking logistics, then she started down the road of sweeping the financial aspects of her behavior under the rug. She has yet to own up to any of these matters when they are quite cut and dried:

1) Fact--she started a match.com account and was talking to OM over a month before we physically separated.
2) Fact--she backdated the separation agreement specifically to cover her affair and to protect her and her affair partner. I singed on the initial agreement she put forward with this date before I knew anything about the OM.
3) Fact--AFTER her defined separation date she consciously ran up THOUSANDS of dollars on my credit AFTER she had opened her match.com account some other way via prepaid debit card or some other account I assume.

YES I WANT HER TO APOLOGIZE AND ADMIT SHE WAS WRONG. Why? Because it's the RIGHT thing to do. I owned up and atoned for my behavior, WHY CAN'T SHE?

I see your point that no email I send nor anything I do is going to make her do these things. Why? Because she is not the woman that I though she was. She has no conscious. Everything about her was sham, it is quite obvious now. She manipulated me in every way possible up the point she realized I hit my breaking point and wanted nothing further to do with her. Ultimately what I've wanted her to do is the right thing, which is unfortunately beyond her comprehension.

labug -- Thanks again, although I must disagree anything about her has been level-headed. Level headed would to be say, "Gee H, you know what, looking back I really shouldn't have burdened you with my childrens medical bills, school supplies, my personal items including charges on my weekend with OM while I was having an affair you knew nothing about. The RIGHT thing to do would have been to stop charging anything to your credit after I opened my match.com account. Here is a check for $xxx.xx to repay what I stole from you after the backdated separation agreement I defined so myself and my affair partner would be legally protected. And since I'm a philandering adulteress I will also return the engagement and wedding rings that you gave me as a symbol of your lifelong commitment to me, since I obviously didn't hold up to my part of the bargain."

I am continuing counseling, and know I am still harboring anger and resentment. I am still angry because I have been robbed. I guess I am asking a lot as if any bank robber got away their heist it is highly unlikely they would admit to it in writing. Perhaps she is thinking I am going to try to hold her legally accountable in some way, but I can't because she was on the accounts at the time because I was not yet aware of her affair...

W always told me ACTIONS speak louder than WORDS. My actions toward her and my stepkids were always proper and positive. My WORDS on a handful of occasions were verbally abusive toward her and I have done everything in my power to atone for that to no avail. In life there is right and wrong, I owned up to my wrongdoing and did everything to make it right. Any decent human being in her position SHOULD do the same. Unfortunately it has taken this long for me to realize that she isn't a decent human being, she is a person who is happy to use and take advantage of other people to get ahead in life. For this longest time I have tried to convince myself that this wasn't the case, but it is what is.

I'm still waiting to receive the agreement she is putting forward. I am hoping signing that and getting it executed ASAP will help me get some type of closure to this entire ordeal. You run into a lot of questionable people in life, and unfortunately I made the decision to marry one of them, and I have no one to blame for that but myself. The main thing that angers me at this point is my own stupidity. I ignored so many red flags and chose to continue engaging with this woman anyway. She is truly a master of her craft, and I am sure the same thing will happen to her affair partner/seemingly current host. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree right/Like mother like daughter? Her mother has been married 7 times...

Thanks again for everyones feedback and good luck in your respective sitch's! If anyone is thinking about getting married DON'T THINK TWICE, THINK FIVE TIMES! :-)