I don't think choosing to stay with your wife when she might have needed your help was a bad choice, but it sounds like you let go of yourself somewhere.
That's all in the past you can't change it but it can be an insight into what didn't work. Work on you and as 25 says, become the better option.
You might be overanalyzing it and too close up on her. Maybe if you provided analysis and updates once a week versus several times per day. A trend I've noticed in these sitches is it tends to not work if you are too close up on it.
Regain your internal locus of control. That means control you. Figure out what you need to do and do it. It sounds like she is getting drawn back to you, but you keep messing with it. Keep overanalyzing it, fading and doubting your confidence in it.
Have faith it is going to be good either way, take good care of yourself.
That your W is "wanting us to work", wanting to go to counselling with you is good enough. Stop talking to her so much and pressing so she won't say "well I need some time away so I can sort myself out". We all know that's never a good thing, lol.
I think you'll be fine when you stop persuing. If you get into yourself, she just may pursue you. You have a better chance than most people on this board, because the WAS is indicating interest in making things work.
