We ended up having an R talk for about 2 hours. It was civil and at least I got an "I really want us to work" but in a nutshell she doesn't know if we will. She says she is really confused and that she has been doing thinking about how this happened. We mapped out when this all started and we figured out a few things but where we figured out a few things more issues popped into place.
Remember that DB is all about not dwelling on the past, but building a NEW relationship for the future. It's OK to discuss past issues because it gives you a template for your 180's, but don't talk endlessly about what has already transpired.
Originally Posted By: Just A Guy
I don't get how we had been getting closer and she kept talkin more and more about plans together for the future including home buying together only to be told that she is not optimistic about us working like I am.
That's normal, you're not going to see all forward motion in this process. Now and then there will be a step backward. Don't worry about it, just keep up with the 180's and take everything she says with a grain of salt.
Originally Posted By: Just A Guy
Now she is also talkin about taking her week away again to collect her thoughts and try to "gain some clarity" in her words.
If she's asking for space then by all means give it to her! Encourage her to get away and collect her thoughts! It would be a good time for NC, let her initiate while she's gone. Don't put any pressure on her.
