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[chatterbug]

First thing you will go through is shock. The symptoms are the same as PTSD. You need to treat yourself as such with it.

Attack the dehydration with a drink of water every hour.
Attack the depression with exercise and lots of contact with your children.
Remove all alcohol from the house. no alcohol for the next 31 days.
Journal to work through revisiting thoughts so you can actually move them along.


The venom from her will come quick and fast. It's purpose is to obfuscate and confuse you. Put you on the defensive and make you feel that it is your fault she is committing adultery. Your only way to fight this is to ignore her venom. And become a rock for yourself then your children. Reassure them with love and words. And let them know that no matter what happens that they are first in your life.

Then you will need to contact the schools to talk to each teacher. And tell them to let you know the moment they start to slip up in school so you can be proactive and deal with that issue.

You will need to teach them about depression and how to overcome it. I would look at your church or any other church in the area that has a divorce care programs for children and family.

Be proactive here with them and you will catch some of this early and you will have a plan in place to deal with their fall out.

They are not only grieving the loss of a family but the fact that their mother is not perfect any more.

I would also recommend that you sit down and talk to your parents and the in-laws and explain that the children know about OM and that you are looking for their support to help you and the children. The visual of an extended family helping out is something that you can use as a point of reference when they are confused.

She will come at you with more venom. So end the conversations. And ignore her.

Then she will switch it up and offer some honey. Your MO should be the same.

Dim ( only engage about children )
24 hour rule for communications about legal and finances.
36 with the option of ignore on all other communications.
Keep all communication in email or text so you can forward to email.
Any phone calls. Be a gentleman and end the conversation within 3 minutes. you are busy with life right